Saturday, June 28, 2003
Tokyo. Got the crap knocked out of itself in the Second World War. Probably for the better as far as business goes in the long run because it allowed them to turn tons of underdeveloped land into business megaplexes. Today, I experienced Tokyo for the first time. I would say it's like New York, it's probably the closest American analogue that I have witnessed, but in reality, it's nothing like New York. For a city where most of its workers can't even afford to live anywhere near their jobs, there are literally 342 metric assloads of people, give or take an assload. And talk about audio/visual overload. You would think that Japan has developed all of the technologies it has solely for the purpose of advertising. And for some reason, I just can't escape the advertising influence of Coca-Cola. Maybe it's living in the city where they have their US headquarters and then visiting the city where they have their East Asian headquarters. On second thought, maybe it's something else.
If you added up all of the people I have seen in my lifetime and compared it to the number of people I saw today, today would probably win out. I see why Japanese people have such a clean culture. I can't imagine how quickly a highly communicable disease could spread if they weren't a very clean society as a whole. I know the whole shoes off in the house thing was primarily to protect the tatami floors of many traditional homes, but I can see why the tradition still stands even today. Plus the added bonus of fewer carpet stains = less frequent cleaning so you can spend more time building my television and my digital camera. I am sure that is the reason Japan became such an economic success.
I can see why Japan is doing so much research into alternative energy sources. These guys really know how to throw a party. Every single night. I know it was a Friday, but the streets were as crowded tonight as they were in Atlanta during the Olympics in 1996. Shoulder to shoulder, ass to ass. It was insane. I played dumb American tourist to a T. I was so busy gawking at all of the sights and sounds that I bumped into several people throughout the evening. At least I wan't wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
I did some calculations (nerd!) based on my per diem allowance vs. my actual budget and realized that I will likely have a healthy surplus. So, in accordance with Japanese expectations of foreigners, I bought some consumer electronics. Well, a consumer electronic, singular. I broke down and bought a Sony digital camera. It's been long overdue for me to buy one and I wanted to be better equipped to share the Japanization of yours truly. And it's always fun to have a new toy.
One more thing before I sign off this evening. Apparently, I underestimated how sexually repressed the average Japanese male really is. I came to this realization over the course of the day through a very bizarre series of events. The initial stimulus was at a department store. Now, land in Japan is quite valuable and this is witnessed by the fact that most of the stores in Tokyo are vertical, exactly the opposite of our arrogantly wasteful shopping complexes in the States, but we have successfully proven our testicular fortitude and abundance of resources by building them like that. Back to the story, I was going up floor by floor in one store, checking out the various wares, from furniture and air conditioners to audio equipment that I would likely trade women for. So, I ended up on the 7th floor, the end of the escalator sequence. Surely something very cool exists around this corner. My buddy Leaor would have been in heaven. Not because it was a total sausage fest, which it was, but rather because I had stumbled across the pornography floor. Yes it was accidental, remember I can't read a damned thing here. Now, porn itself is really not that disturbing. Read my blog from a few days ago and you will find verification of my views on pornography. But what I did find disturbing is the fact that more than 70% of the stuff in this room was cartoon porn. I mean, what gives? The best I can figure goes something like this. What do the Japanese cartoon women and your typical Japanese woman have in common? That's right, nothing. Large breasts, supple, yet firm and round buttocks, and I am sure you know which category I am describing. And no, I am not being so ignorant to say that ALL Japanese women lack these traits, notice my careful choice of the word 'typical.' I have seen some Japanese women I probably would not trade for the aforementioned audio equipment. There are just not enough of those types of women to go around. Especially for the types of guys who watch cartoon porn. But I shouldn't denigrate these guys any further. Those guys probably made my camera.
If you added up all of the people I have seen in my lifetime and compared it to the number of people I saw today, today would probably win out. I see why Japanese people have such a clean culture. I can't imagine how quickly a highly communicable disease could spread if they weren't a very clean society as a whole. I know the whole shoes off in the house thing was primarily to protect the tatami floors of many traditional homes, but I can see why the tradition still stands even today. Plus the added bonus of fewer carpet stains = less frequent cleaning so you can spend more time building my television and my digital camera. I am sure that is the reason Japan became such an economic success.
I can see why Japan is doing so much research into alternative energy sources. These guys really know how to throw a party. Every single night. I know it was a Friday, but the streets were as crowded tonight as they were in Atlanta during the Olympics in 1996. Shoulder to shoulder, ass to ass. It was insane. I played dumb American tourist to a T. I was so busy gawking at all of the sights and sounds that I bumped into several people throughout the evening. At least I wan't wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
I did some calculations (nerd!) based on my per diem allowance vs. my actual budget and realized that I will likely have a healthy surplus. So, in accordance with Japanese expectations of foreigners, I bought some consumer electronics. Well, a consumer electronic, singular. I broke down and bought a Sony digital camera. It's been long overdue for me to buy one and I wanted to be better equipped to share the Japanization of yours truly. And it's always fun to have a new toy.
One more thing before I sign off this evening. Apparently, I underestimated how sexually repressed the average Japanese male really is. I came to this realization over the course of the day through a very bizarre series of events. The initial stimulus was at a department store. Now, land in Japan is quite valuable and this is witnessed by the fact that most of the stores in Tokyo are vertical, exactly the opposite of our arrogantly wasteful shopping complexes in the States, but we have successfully proven our testicular fortitude and abundance of resources by building them like that. Back to the story, I was going up floor by floor in one store, checking out the various wares, from furniture and air conditioners to audio equipment that I would likely trade women for. So, I ended up on the 7th floor, the end of the escalator sequence. Surely something very cool exists around this corner. My buddy Leaor would have been in heaven. Not because it was a total sausage fest, which it was, but rather because I had stumbled across the pornography floor. Yes it was accidental, remember I can't read a damned thing here. Now, porn itself is really not that disturbing. Read my blog from a few days ago and you will find verification of my views on pornography. But what I did find disturbing is the fact that more than 70% of the stuff in this room was cartoon porn. I mean, what gives? The best I can figure goes something like this. What do the Japanese cartoon women and your typical Japanese woman have in common? That's right, nothing. Large breasts, supple, yet firm and round buttocks, and I am sure you know which category I am describing. And no, I am not being so ignorant to say that ALL Japanese women lack these traits, notice my careful choice of the word 'typical.' I have seen some Japanese women I probably would not trade for the aforementioned audio equipment. There are just not enough of those types of women to go around. Especially for the types of guys who watch cartoon porn. But I shouldn't denigrate these guys any further. Those guys probably made my camera.
Comments:
Post a Comment
