Illiteracy Rules!!

Added Sunday, July 20, 2003

Added Saturday, July 19, 2003

I plan to stay up tonight to fight jet lag, pull an all-nighter so I can sleep on the plane early and wake up as if it were late Saturday morning. That should kill some of the boredom of a 13 hour flight and put me back on a sleeping schedule concurrent with where I live. It may sound crazy, but I think it might work. Besides, I can get more writing about this past weekend done. Look for regular updates within hours.

I can't really go back in time and write about my travels this past weekend without Superman or a Delta flight across the Pacific, but I will do my best to make all of this make chronological sense in the blog format. It may be too much of a task to do all of this in a single sitting as well, so you may only find one day at a time added to this post. I will put an announcement up on days when I have edited this letting you know what was added. There are a ton of pictures so you may have to be patient to experience this in its full multimedia glory. As they say in Japan, "Rockin' ret's get!" Okay, they don't really say that.

Four days and no post?!?! Did you miss me?

I spent the last few days taking and reviewing applications for a Japanese girlfriend. Not really, Stephanie, I was just travelling around Japan. I spent Saturday and Monday in Kyoto and Sunday in Hiroshima. It's really, really late right now so I'll have to write about it later. After travelling for the last four hours at an average speed of about 100 mph, I can say one thing right now, though...
Shinkansen shin-kicks-ass!!

Also coming soon... Muddy's Free Guide on How To Pick Up Chicks Using Pigeons

Sunday, July 20, 2003

After a good night's sleep and a crappy breakfast at the hotel, I headed out into the city most famous for getting the shinola knocked out of itself about 60 years ago, Hiroshima. I checked out and headed to Hiroshima Station just before 10 AM. I got to the station right as the travel agency was opening at 10. I was smart this time, working out lodging logistics before it got too late for me to do anything about it. It seemed that due to a national holiday on Monday, all hotels in Kyoto were still booked. I wanted to spend another day there in Kyoto so I decided to stay in Osaka and ride into Kyoto in the morning around 10 AM. With a place to stay, albeit a little more planned than some of my other adventures so far, I headed out to catch a bus to ground zero, now Peace Memorial Park. I forgot to get a map but there was a huge sign in the bus lane that said "Peace Memorial Park." Easy enough.

When I got to my bus stop and stepped off, that sense of eeriness settled in a little deeper. I felt like I wanted to start crying right there. Call me a pansy, but if you've ever been or ever go, you'd know what I mean. That is, of course, unless you are fortunate enough to lack a conscience and concern for your fellow human beings. After regaining a check on my emotions, I headed across the street to the main park area, just in front of the museum. My first destination was just on the other side of ground zero, a place commonly referred to as the "A-Bomb Dome." Apparently, the only thing that survived in the area, quote/unquote, was concrete and steel. I use the term "survived" with restrain because it was still quite f'd up. A look at the steel beam in the middle right of this picture may give an idea of exactly how f'd up. To get an idea of the city surrounding the area, I took a picture from a nearby bridge. For reference, ground zero is about 60 meters beyond the dome. My next destination was the nearby peace bell. Anyone can ring it and of course, I did. I also stuck around to get a photo of someone else ringing the bell. Next along the path, I ran into the children's memorial. The figure on the top is a girl holding up a paper crane, a reference to a story about a girl that came down with leukemia about 10 years after the bombing who had faith in an old saying that one would get over an illness by folding 1000 paper cranes. She accomplished her goal and beyond, but to no avail. People make literally tons of paper cranes and send them here to be displayed in the small display booths surrounding one side of this memorial. My other picture only has a few cranes in a newly utilized booth because the 4 previous ones were completely full and covered with a clear plastic tarp. You have to be a pretty heartless bastard to not get all choked up and weepy here. I then headed for the museum and passed some of the main memorials in the center of the park. The parabolic construction is called the "cenotaph" and you can see what I call the "eternal flame" just beyond it. Supposedly, they'll extinguish it when all nuclear weapons are dismantled, not that they'll ever get the chance. A look through the cenotaph reveals that it lines up with the flame and the dome. Weird, but likely intentional. Rain started coming down harder so I headed for shelter in the museum.

The museum was rather interesting. After paying ¥400-500 for admission to most major temples and shrines in Kyoto, the ¥50 admission fee was welcome. The place is huge with a recreation of the dome within the first main gallery. I don't know why they did this with the real one about 300 meters away, but it looked very cool. After reading and seeing the exhibits, I started to wonder why I didn't know much of anything about the bombing of Hiroshima other than the fact that it was bombed. I don't know if it was just my teachers or if it just wasn't talked about for some reason unknown to me. Maybe it's some "black sheep" of American history, a reminder that we aren't as perfect as we'd like to think we are, that we've done some pretty evil stuff in the name of democracy. For instance, I had no idea that they waited until a clear day to drop the bomb so they could take good before and after photos. It makes perfect sense, especially from an experimental viewpoint which I understand way too well, but that's not something I have ever read or discussed. I also didn't know that we were trying to end the war with the Japanese before the Russians got involved in the eastern conflict so we could have a stronger political position. Once again, it is highly logical, just never presented to me. Heck, before this trip, I could tell you it happened in 1945, but no clue as to what month. I seriously hope, and I'm going to start asking my colleagues, that there are a lot of US history teachers that talk about Hiroshima and Nagasaki because I think it's of the utmost importance for us to learn from this historical mistake. I know a lot of people say, "Oh, well more people would have died in combat." Or, "It saved American lives!" 300,000 in Hiroshima alone over 10 years, and that's a conservative estimate and not considering non-lethal residual effects. My main problem with it? Almost purely civilian casualties, not armed forces we're talking about here. I don't understand how politicians can question trying to keep weapons like this out of the hands of genuinely evil people, especially the politicians who are all about "human welfare" (read as Democrats). Seems oxymoronic, but at the risk of being cliche, I think the last half of that word describes a lot of politicians.

I went to the visitors office at the park and picked up a mass transit map. It seems that Hiroshima has street cars rather than subways, so I picked one up to go to Miyajima Island, about 20 km south of Hiroshima. There is a famous toree there, the "gates" that keep evil out of the shrines and temples. You have to take a 10 minute ferry to the island once you get there. Coming across the bay, it was hard not to notice that the island was mostly huge mountains, likely volcanic in origin. The first thing I noticed when I got off the ferry was the stink. Remember it was raining slightly for most of the day and then add a few hundred tame deer. These guys were definitely not afraid of people, and despite the many signs tht said not to go near the one's with antlers, people were doing just that. I guess they've never watched the Discovery Channel. I walked around the shore line to the island temple to see the infamous, so famous it's in-famous, toree in the sea. Apparently, the temple has been rebuilt often due to destruction by typhoons but it's still pretty neat, being on stilts over the tide water. There were tons of small shrines around the island and a pagoda next to the Room of 1000 Tatami Mats. I also went to the aquarium on the island. It was sort of sad, in a state of major disrepair, but they had some interesting creatures, such as the mudskipper, incidentally the source of my nickname, sort of...if you know anything about Ren and Stimply. Muddy Mudskipper and I have the same birthday which was discovered after my friend Kim had been calling me Muddy for a few weeks. That probably doesn't mean a damned thing unless you know anything about me and/or the show.

I went in a little early to make sure I didn't miss the badass train. I had dinner on the 12th floor of a shopping center by the station. It had a great view, not that a lone gaijin (foreigner) would get to sit by the window, but I could see when I stood up. Then I went to the station. I bought a beer for the train and an ice cream sandwich, with more of a waffle like outside than the chocolate wafer variety. I went to the platform to wait patiently for the 30 minutes or so until the train arrived. There was this pigeon on the ground by the seats and he wasn't too scared when I came near to sit. He especially wasn't scared when I opened the ice cream. He started strutting about, trying to get my attention. I think I was supposed to feed him for his efforts, but the last thing I wanted was a flock of pigeons at my feet. These two Japanese girls, definitely out of high school, probably in college, approached from around a corner and were immediately caught by my charming good looks. Or maybe it was the wacky pigeon. They watched him as I finished my ice cream. Well, I had to give it to him, he was persistent and diligent, surely I could spare the corner for the guy. I took the last bit of wafer and tore it into a few pieces, but I'd be damned if I'd throw it to him so all of the other pigeons could see. So, I held it out and he came and picked it out of my hand. Very brave! Then I grabbed him and bit his head off. Ok, I didn't really do that. Being a dumb bird, he wanted more but picked up on the hint a little later. But not before one of the girls asked me what we call this bird in the English language. Since their phonic system isn't quite compatible, we had to work on it, meaning I had to write it down and say it a few times with them repeating. Then I asked them the Japanese equivalent. Apparently, it's hato. So, we start chit-chat and turns out they're students in Osaka that hail from Hiroshima. They ask if I'm famous and I said yes. They asked why and I said "sumo." They laughed and I acted upset that they didn't believe me. Then I admitted that I was a famous karaoke lounge singer. That evoked more laughter and I had to admit that I was a teacher. I think they were trying to tell me that they are not science majors when I said I teach science. Then they asked what we call shinkansen. I told them "bullet train" and they started doing this finger gun thing while saying the Japanese word for gun, getsu, pronounced like the word "gets," silent 'u.' If you don't believe me, you can see the "getsu"-girls. The one one the right was named Tomoe and I'll have to look up the other girl's name. I'm not so good with Japanese names. It'd be easier if they just had names like Smith, or Johnson.

So, in conclusion, Muddy-san's tips for picking up Japanese chicks: 1) get a pigeon; 2) be witty; 3) don't be married.

Saturday, July 19, 2003

That bus ride was sweet! Through the night, darkened bus, everyone sleeping. Arrived in Kyoto around 6:30 AM with the entire day to look forward to. I needed to book a hotel room but the tourist info center wasn't open until 10 AM. Like I'm waiting around 3.5 hours for that? It'll be no problem.

Nathan had read about an all-day bus pass for cheap. Actually, it was really cheap. ¥500 cheap. That's about $4.20, for all day, unlimited access to a regularly scheduled bus system. How come MARTA can't post signs at all of their stops with accurate bus schedules? Well, besides the fact that most of it's riders couldn't read it anyhow. With English bus maps in hand, we were off to experience Kyoto. As soon as we can figure out where the bus picks us up here at Kyoto Station. It's a huge station, not unlike Tokyo Station, very unlike Five Points station.

On the way to Nijo-jo Castle, I joked that it wouldn't open until 9 AM. Good thing I was wrong! It opened at 8:45! So, we found a good coffee shop across the street and had coffee and this freakin' awesome cinnamon toast. We chilled there for quite a while until the castle opened, keeping in mind what time we rolled into Kyoto.

First of all, the castle grounds are fuh-huge! There's this moat all of the way around it about 20 feet wide, who knows how deep. Oh, easy huh? First you have to go down about 10 feet to get in from a stone wall and then go directly up a 20 foot stone wall on the castle side. Good luck, ninja boy! Well, without getting spotted from the high, overlooking watchout station. It's not a tower, more of a huge earth mound. Here's a picture of the castle grounds from one. The castle is actually divided into two main areas. One on the right of the picture, the shogun's house, and then another complex surrounded by smaller moat to the left. Screw George Bush's ranch, I'd have a friggin' sweet pad like this if I were the prez! Like I mentioned earlier, it was the shogun's house during the feudal era before the 1860's when the capital was Kyoto and Edo was growing into what is now Tokyo. Since he is an important guy, there are is a lot of security. Not Brinks security, actually a bit more awesome. The floors in the shogun's house are also known as "nightengale floors." The floor basically chirps as you walk, it's really cool. No matter how carefully you step, it squeaks. Not really an annoying sound, just enough so that people would know if someone was stalking around the house in the middle of the night to assassinate the shogun. So dripping wet ninja, can you now climb around the house on the walls like SpiderMan? Yeah, didn't think so. Turn in your membership card! At first, I thought that maybe since there was no furniture, it was all sold long ago before preservation attempts. Not really, they just didn't have any. The only furniture was a bed that was stored in a closet, cushions to sit on the tatami floors, a table that was brought from the kitchen at meal time and all wardrobe was kept in a room in the back of the house. I guess all of the wood detailing on the exterior and nail-less architecture took too much time to make a nice recliner and an ottoman for the shogun.

Next up, the Golden Temple, also known as Kinkaku-ji. If you see this picture, you may understand why they call it that. Nothing else too impressive around this site, but you have to admit, it's a pretty impressive building. This is actually a rebuild from some time ago. Seems some monk was so obsessed with this temple he burned it down. Yeah, that's what I do to things I love too, I destroy them.

Since we were close, we headed to nearby Ryoan-ji. We took the wrong street so we ended up having to find a shortcut west about 1 km to our destination. Since I am like some sort of human compass, I found our way directly to the entrance of the temple. But not before we crossed some small college campus. It must have been a good school because I learned something interesting while I was there. I found out why the dinosaurs really went extinct. I think the sign says something like "Surgeon General's Warning: Smoking may lead to extinction. But then again, so can a big f*$%ing meteor."

Ryoan-ji is famous for it's Zen rock garden. Actually, it's just beautiful overall. I felt like the rock garden was secondary to the natural beauty of the immaculately maintainted forest. There was a huge lake on the way in to the main building where the rock garden is located. On an island in the lake, there is a small shrine to some smaller deity. Then, just past the washing station there was a cool Buddha statue in the woods. The stroll out of the complex takes you the other way around the lake where the forest is unimaginably breathtaking. There was a really neat Buddhist monument that I got a good shot of and many of the trees had these huge white blossoms on them. The forest smelled so fresh and so clean. Ain't no forest dope as Ryoan-ji!

So, as if that weren't enough exploration for one day, we headed to the Silver Temple, Ginkaku-ji. After the gold one, you might expect something equally impressive, but in silver, right? Well, it seems this huge war started before it was finished and it never received it's coating. There were about 20 different mosses in the garden areas though and from the side of the adjoining mountain you could get a good view of Kyoto. If you look closely, you can see parts of a huge, conic sand mound with the top lopped off through the center tree, supposedly made to represent Mt. Fuji. I thought someone had just gotten bored.

As if that weren't enough to see, we headed to a recommended site, Kiyomizu-ji Temple. On the way the mountian to the top, we saw some geisha walking around the entrance of the temple. They looked hot! No, temperature wise, silly. It was a pretty muggy day out and I think I would have been uncomfortable in a many layered kimono. I quickly saw why this place was the top recommendation from everyone I talked to. It's probably my current favorite temple. There is this gigantic pagoda at the entrance. The amount of detailing on the pagoda is unbelieveable. There is also a large bell at the entrance. That's one helluva doorbell! I was flabberghasted by some of the detailing on the ceilings, not that this is a very good representation of what you would see in person. There was an even better view of Kyoto from Kiyomizu. The overall temple grounds were huge with many sights to see. But the main attraction had to be the watering hole. Kiyomizu translates as "fresh water." There was a long line for people drinking from the fountain, but naturally I waited in it. Why just go and see it when you can DO it? Surprisingly, I have a similar philosophy on visiting strip clubs. If you look closely enough, you can see that I give the Mentos thumbs-up after drinking.

We had planned to go to the tallest pagoda in Japan, but unfortunately, it was way past closing time for that site. So, before dinner, I figured I had better go back and book a room. Made it before closing, no problem. Well, other than the fact that there was a sign on the door that said "No Hotel Vacancies." Fretfully, I asked the guy what I could do. He suggested staying in nearby Osaka, 30 minutes by train. Nathan had a ticket back on the overnight bus to Tokyo to go on to Nikko National Park, but I wanted to go south, to Hiroshima. Well, why not just go ahead and go there? Nothing like fly by the seat of your pants travelling. He couldn't help me with anything but local hotels, so I went to the Japan Railways travel agent and booked myself a room a short walk from the main station in Hiroshima and bought a ticket for the shinkansen, Japan's bullet train. It's about 225 miles, but the trip is only about 1 hour 45 minutes with several stops along the way. You do the velocity calculations. I got lucky on the first try and got a good shot of the shinkansen coming into the station. Subsequent tries were not as successful, shooting a moving subject of in low lighting is not easy. I also took a picture of me on my first shinkansen ride. Pretty good for a hold the camera out and shoot backwards pic! Good thing pictures don't preserve smells considering the fact that I was riding after walking around various parts of Kyoto all day long! I have convinced myself that my seatmate moved across the train to look out the window since I had the window seat. I like the shinkansen better than flying, mostly because of the view. Looking out the plane window is interesting, but even though you are hauling mass through the sky, it's hard to really tell due to the lack of reasonably sized reference points. In the shinkansen, everything is normal size and at eye-level. You can tell without a doubt that you are totally S-C-R-E-W-E-D if the train happens to derail.

Shinkansen shin-kicks-ass!!!

I got to Hiroshima around 11 PM. Finding the hotel wasn't too difficult, but I'm glad I stopped to ask someone at the ticket office. I never would have figured out how to get to the other side of the station without walking all of the way around on my own, I couldn't read the sign for the tunnel. And the map the travel agent gave me showed the hotel on the wrong side of the river. I have to admit, though. I did get chills when I stepped outside for the first time and not because of the temperature, it was actually quite warm. It was very strange and slightly eerie thinking that I was standing somewhere where an atomic bomb had been exploded.

Friday, July 18, 2003

I guess I could have planned better. I had just ran to the travel agency to see if I could get a bus ticket from Tokyo to Kyoto but they closed about 1 minute before I got there. Punctuality is a virtue in the Japanese culture, especially with closing times. I guess growing up in the South has really left me handicapped with respect to being on time, everything there starts at least 5 minutes late, something to which I've grown way too accustomed. So, I headed to Tsukuba Center to wait for Nathan so we could head to Tokyo on the highway bus. At about 8 PM, after locking my bike up in the pay parking area, I bought my bus ticket to Tokyo and waited, crossing my fingers hoping that I would be able to get a ticket on the overnight bus to Kyoto at Tokyo Station. If not, I had some serious improvisation to do.

An hour and a half later I'm in line for bus tickets at Tokyo Station. Are there any more tickets to Kyoto this evening? I suppose there is something to be said for planning ahead, everything is sort of guaranteed, but I think it's much more fun to not plan ahead. There's something about the excitement of uncertainty, that feeling that you don't exactly know what's going to happen next. It's the same feeling that made all of those last minute college road trips so fun and adventurous. Can we make it to College Station, PA by noon if we leave at midnight? Can I get a bus ticket a little over an hour before the bus leaves on a popular bus? So, a bit nervous, I ask if I can get a ticket. At first, he seems doubtful, then he picks up a stack of tickets and thumbs through them. Are you telling me my fate is going to be decided by a small stack of paper? Flip, flip, pause, flip, flip, flip, pause, flip... Finally, he yanks one out and punches in the cost. I have a ride, same time as Nathan but on a different bus. It seems there are about 5 following the same route, sort of like a band trip bus caravan, just without all of the cliques riding the bus together. We had an hour and a half to wait for departure so we chilled in the huge station. It seems seating is a rare and valuable commodity in Japan so we opted to go for floor seating. We boarded a few minutes before 11 PM, the shoes came off for the 7 hour ride, propped the seat back, and slept. Price wasn't bad for a hotel and bus ride. Arrival time in Kyoto should be about 6:30 AM.

Konnichi wa!

Not too many days left that you will be reading that as my introduction. I only have 1 week left in Japan before I get to come back and enjoy heart-stopping burgers and fries, Atlanta summer smog and those charming Dawg fans. Oh, so much to look forward to! It's sort of sad that the best thing I can say about Georgia is that my wife is there. And, to be honest, she isn't right at this moment.

I've had a busy two days. Yesterday, I toured the labs for the non-oxide ceramics group at NIMS. And I finally uploaded the picture of Dr. Otane, the guy that showed me how to make a large, single CeB₆ crystal from powdered material. This is the RF induction furnace we used to make it. If you caught the PS on the last post, it may finally make a little more sense. Do a Google search on 'electron beam emitters' and you may get a better clue. There is definitely some very interesting and groundbreaking research going on in materials science. We can make materials that we haven't found nature capable of yet. Granted, we do have a microcosmic reference frame with relation to the universe, hence the use of the word 'yet.'

Tuesday evening, I had dinner at a nice Japanese restaurant with Dr. Sekine, his daughter and some Meikei science teachers. The room we were in was very nice with a fancy chest on display. These chests were used after weddings to carry the brides belongings to her new home. I don't know the full story, but they may have also sometimes contained a dowry. I'll need a second opinion on that. I actually went to this restaurant just to observe the garden a few weeks ago. The place specializes in tofu dishes. Most Americans think tofu is a tasteless, gelatin-like, white blob of goo but tofu here in Japan is quite different. Here, there are actually many types, and in all cases, it seems that the way it is prepared makes all of the difference. For those that don't know, tofu is soy protein curd derived during the processing of soybeans. Every dish we had at this restaurant featured tofu prepared in some unique way. Even the dessert was tofu ice cream. That probably brings up images of ice cream with tofu chunks, but it was actually the typical texture of plain ice cream and quite delicious.

I also spent a good bit of time observing the last few classes at Meikei yesterday and today. Today was okay, but all of the science classes I could find were testing or watching a video. Their summer vacation starts next week in the school year that runs from April to March so not too much is going on before the 6 week vacation. I went to a class that Dr. Ahmadyar was substituting for. An English teacher is out from time to time with pregnancy related issues and they don't have a substitute system, so the other teachers fill in on their 'free periods.' It was an English conversation class so it was actually pretty easy to follow along for once. The real fun was yesterday, though. I went to a physics class taught by one of the two females in the science department. The students were making pinhole cameras and it was exciting to watch. Well, I guess in that picture they were developing, you can see some black cameras set up on the right. I was about to leave to see something else when the teacher brought me the materials and diagrams to make one myself. I couldn't be rude and not comply, and consider the fact that it looked really fun, I had to jump in. My actual photo turned out pretty badly. Exposure time was 20 minutes and I took one of the last remaining places in the window so my 'shot' wasn't bright enough to expose the film enough. I took a photo of some girls setting up their cameras. One of the few female photo-ops in a physics class!! And you can see what my pinhole camera saw! I'll bet you expected some girl-on-girl action after the intro to that one, you sick puppy!

Continuing with the tradtition of being treated to dinner, I had dinner tonight at a restaurant just 2 blocks from Ninomiya House. I was the guest of the school principal, the science division head, the director of student affairs and his wife and, of course, Dr. A. The meal was mixed Japanese fare, but the highlights were a beautiful dish of sashimi that you can glimpse in the photo of Mr. Kano, the director of student affairs, Japanese beef, the sweet bean jam dessert, and of course, the sake.

The last touristy bit I'll leave you with today is a short clip of students practicing kendo. Kendo is traditional Japanese sword fighting and competitors score points for head blows (they wear heavy masks), body blows, wrist hits and throat skewering. It's not as violent as it sounds, they use bamboo swords, but it actually sounds violent. The bamboo swords make a loud popping sound when a hit is delivered. If you saw the movie Kung Pow, the grilled mask guy in the field near the beginning of the movie was wearing a kendo helmet.

No, no! No punchey in facey!
Muddy-san

Number 2 on the "Why I Love the Japanese List": The Food
Oh man is this food good! They even do Western dishes better than we do. How in the hell is that possible? It seems like there should be some natural law prohibiting something like that from happening. The greatest characteristic of a Japanese meal is the small servings. How does it fill you up, you ask? You get about 10 separate dishes, that's how. In the States, you get one big, overseasoned piece of grilled meat, a side of fried potatoes and a large chunk of community bread. Here, you get 4-5 slices of slighly seasoned meat garnished with some subtle sauce and colored vegetables, a few other similar dishes and your own plate with a small serving of bread. I can definitely say that I have only felt over-full once on this trip. The second greatest quality would definitely be the presentation. Rarely have I had a dish here that was not absolutely beautiful when presented, garnished with colorful and edible vegetables. None of that parsley sprig BS. The awesome cooking teacher at Wheeler said it best when she said, "You taste with your eyes before you taste with your mouth." The Japanese definitely understand the importance of all five senses in the dining experience. In the smaller restaurants, the sound of preparing the food is enough to make your mouth water. The food is so beautiful you are ashamed to put utensils to it. The smell is subtle, yet savory. The taste is to die for and the texture, while depending on the food obviously, is almost always just right. You are probably wondering, "It sounds so great, why number two?" I will definitely miss the wonderful food, but even more, I will miss the freedom and opportunity to buy beer in vending machines. Especially on Sundays.

PS - Today, I learned how to turn $10 worth of material into $10,000 worth of material. And I have a sample.

Ok, I promised the other day and I didn't follow through. It happens. You have to learn to be flexible.

I mentioned last week about visiting a new Japanese home, with all of the amenities that one could expect, including a toilet lid that opens automatically as you enter the house. I have been mulling over the issue after seeing this house and after spending the last few days shopping for and I have decided that the Japanese are far superior to Americans as far as product craftsmanship is concerned. Let's do a little case study: my house versus the new Japanese house.

Item 1: Drywall
This house had mine beat hands down. I know the day laborers are paid to finish the job and I know that using them keeps my house priced reasonably, well supposedly. How come this guy can pay a comparable amount for his house and have immaculate walls and ceilings? <'Johnny Cochran>That does not make sense!<'/Johnny Cochran> All of the corners were perfect. All of the cutouts were smaller than the plate that covered them. Everything was nice and smooth. Am I saying he shouldn't expect any nail-pops? No, but I am sure they will do a fine job fixing it.

Item 2: Light Fixtures
Absolutely wonderful. No upgrading required, great lighting is standard. We got an allowance at a lighting store. They made it very easy to go over budget if you didn't want crappy light fixtures. We had to cut corners, change designs, nix the lighting on the ceiling fan. Why? This guy's new house came with nice lighting. He had one or two that they had hand selected, but all of the other ones were standard. Do we just have low standards?

Item 3: Bathrooms and Kitchen
Ok, everything was immaculate. No shoddy tile work. No second-rate caulking jobs. No construction dust. I guess that one applies to the whole house. The fixtures were spotlessly shiny. I wish we hadn't had to clean drywall putty off of almost every surface when we moved in, especially in the bathrooms for some odd reason.

Item 4: Flooring
This house had wood floors on the first level like we do. Same type of floor, probably a different wood and manufacturer. Hell of an installation job. No bulges where someone accidentally nailed moulding to the floating wood floor. No places at the wall where it didn't quite end under the moulding. No seams where it wasn't quite flush. At least not that I could find. And I was being very nosy or inspective, if that's even a word.

Item 5: Brick work
This house had bricks not only outside, but also inside. Two columns covering structural supports, to dress them up a little. I am sure that I could have taken a level to each and every brick. And the masonry was immaculate. No places where it sort of hangs over the bricks. No places where they scraped too much out or didn't scrape enough.

I could go on and on but this would get very boring and I would get more infuriated than I am now. I feel like I should have kicked my own ass for agreeing to buy my place in the condition it was. Not that it's not a nice place. Don't get me wrong, I love my place. I am just really ticked off that the people building my house didn't put as much effort as obviously went into a comparable home in Japan. It's not like I got such a bargain on my house that the builder should have sacrificed quality craftsmanship. And it's not just my house. It's a lot of my friends and family that have bought new homes recently as well. You shouldn't have to go to The Home Depot during your first week of residency unless it's to buy that fancy paint they couldn't do, or to buy a hammer to hang up your pictures. I shouldn't have had to look for tile sealant, a dust mop, cleaning supplies and sandpaper. The place is brand new! It should have been taken care of. I've heard of cutting costs, but at the sake of sacrificing quality? Personally, I'm a believer in you pay for what you get. I guess I feel like I paid for more than I got in this case. And like I said, I still love the place I have, I just wish the illegal immigrants hadn't been in such a rush to get home and watch Telemundo.

The attention to detail doesn't only apply to homes, either. It's in almost everything I have seen while I have been out and about shopping. From hand-painted pottery to little wooden jewelry cases, for prices comparable to some of the crap in K-Mart, you get a far superior product to any I have seen in the US. That goes for some of the larger furniture items as well. I almost crapped my pants when I saw how cheap this awesome table was in a fancy department store. The thing was solid, too. I crawled underneath it to check out the joints and it was immaculately jointed, glued and bolted. If it would fit in a suitcase, I would be the owner of a new table. Shipping is expensive and I'd probably have to pay import taxes on it, so I think I'll let it go. It was the kind of table that you could further the human race on without having to retighten any parts afterwards.

I'm not trying to be all Mr. Anti-Jingoism. I'm definitely not trying to sell my home country short. My friend Mike accused me of 'coming to the dark side.' His dad describes him as a Nazi. Not a skinhead type, just the kind that would wipe out all of the people with an IQ less than 115 if you put the button in front of him. He's been on the 'dark side' for about 10 years. I don't think I could do it. I still like paying $1 for my McDonalds fries, not the $4-5 it would cost in a world without stupid people. I think a lot of Americans do take pride in their work, and I know quite a few people that do, I am just saying that maybe we should demand more, kind of like the scorned black ladies that demand free dessert because their popcorn shrimp and strawberry lemonade were brought out more than 10 seconds after it was prepared. I told you about taking them hoes to the Cheesecake Factory! Yeah, maybe white people shouldn't quote hip-hop music.

Today, I learned I am an ass. I kind of already knew it, but today it was proven to me. I mentioned that I was giving a presentation at Meikei today about high school in Georgia. It went well. Actually, a better turnout than I expected. There were a lot of good questions and hopefully good answers. How does this prove I'm an ass? It doesn't, yet. So, after it's over, I am cleaning up and a few of the students are asking me questions they were probably too shy to ask during the presentation, or maybe it's about something not related to the presentation. I don't remember any specific questions, except for one. The one that proved that I should change my name to Hugh Jass. "What does it mean when you do this?" "This," is the thing that proves I am an elitist, pig-headed, intellectual snob. I don't know where I picked it up. Maybe from my friends (Cox comes to mind), maybe from students, maybe from another teacher, maybe from televison or cinema. I am not sure about the origins of this behavior, but I am sure that it proves that I am a self-important, egomaniacal jerk. If you've read this far, you are probably saying, "You know, you are an ass. You haven't even said what it is that you do. Stop stringing me along, you ass!" Well, with that kind of peer pressure, I suppose I should oblige. It seems, that when I talk, well, maybe just in the classroom because I've never picked up on this behavior before, but when I talk, I sometimes do the "quotation marks thing" with my fingers. See, I just did it again. Why did it take a group of teenaged Japanese girls to tell me this? Why hasn't someone beat the hell out of me by now? I don't get it. I'd like to stop this behavior. I'd like to stop being condescending. I'm asking for your help in this matter, to stop myself from trivializing the intelligence of other human beings. The next time you see me give the "quotation mark fingers" to yourself and/or others, please do me a favor and punch me in the face.

Komban wa!

Last two days have been really unexciting. I've been working on another PowerPoint presentation for a deal I'm doing after school on Saturday. Yes, I said Saturday. I guess I had the day off today if you count the fact that I didn't go in to any office, so it evens out, I guess. If you factor in that I was working on this presentation most of the day, you may change your mind. Or not, your choice. I'd let you take a looksie, but it seems pointless. It's a brief intro to school in the States. Wheeler more specifically, comparing a bit to their school so they can see what it'd be like to go to American school. Well, the best I can with most of my pictures taken from Google image searches. The problem with Wheeler's web site, it seems, is that the admin is adamantly opposed to posting pictures of students and even their full names. That means no cool hallway images available to me, no cool pep rally pics, no pics of students making out in the courtyard. No real 'essence' of Wheeler. I guess I understand their concerns, avoiding stalkers and all. Back to my point, stock photos are abundant throughout my presentation, but don't tell them. I even managed to slip in a subliminal message. Ok, you got me, it's just a picture of good ol' Ma.

I had a shitty dinner at Shakey's Pizza tonight. I was pressured into getting the buffet and the food was sucktacular. The best part of the meal was the beer and the shaved ice dessert. I got to run the shaved ice machine too, a DIY deal with little bottles of flavored syrup and all. The most amusing part of my meal was this older teen-looking Japanese girl eating with some younger 20s-looking Japanese guy. She was kind of cute in her Philly 76'ers cheerleader uniform and she had cool boots and wacky stick out pony tails. Face wasn't so cute, but the get up was. I wish I could have taken a picture without getting gang raped by the Yakuza. You know how some shirts have the breast pocket logo on them, even when there's no pocket? How funny would it look on their back instead? It was the first thing I noticed and it was hard not to laugh when I looked at her. I made it look ill-fitting too, despite the fact that it was tighter than Britney before Justin.

Tune in tomorrow when I will have more time to write about the differences in Japanese and American craftsmanship. I need more time to write it and more time to collect my thoughts to give it the treatment it deserves.

I apologize to my devoted readers for not posting last night. My brain was a little preoccupied with maintaining balance and vision after my excursion last evening. Let me explain...

Dr. A took me to Tsuchiura, a neighboring town, to see a new construction home that belongs to his friend. Surprisingly, he knows everyone in that town, too, or so it would seem. His friend, Suzuki-san, owns a store that sells paper lanterns and Buddhist items, such as beautifully decorated prayer cabinets that hold all of the little statues and candles, incense, the little statues, the whole shebang. It was a pretty neat store and I was tempted to buy one of the hand-decorated paper lanterns. They come with fancy stands to make them like a piece of furniture, you would have to see it to really know what I am talking about and I can't find an example online. He already has a pretty sweet pad on the top floor of the tallest building in town. Now he has an even sweeter pad just a couple of blocks away. I took some pictures, but they were very boring. There's not really any furniture yet, other than the new table and couch. No decorations or anything yet, they just got the keys this past weekend. It does have a wine fridge in the kitchen, already stocked with some of his favorites. As a matter of fact, we took a few bottles with us to dinner. The house was amazing and smelled great, like the tatami mats that were in some of the rooms. Most of the windows have these automated security shutters that roll open and shut sort of like a garage door. I don't know if it's to keep burglars out or just for protection from the elements, maybe both. He had some awesome adjustable lighting in some of the rooms, not like dimmers, but you press a button on the remote and get different kinds of light. And the toilet seat automatically raises when you approach it and automatically closes and flushes after you get up. It was crazy. I wish my pictures hadn't been so boring, maybe I wouldn't have deleted them. The craftsmanship of the house was unmatched by anything I have ever seen in the States, but I digress.

After checking out the house, we went to have dinner. We brought some wine with us from the stocked fridge in an empty house. First, we stopped at this restaurant to have beef stew. Maybe I should be more specific, beef tongue stew. I know what you're thinking, and I know you're wrong. It was awesome! The chef kept thanking me for complimenting his food by sopping up all of the gravy with my roll. Oh, man, it was good. It was like eating regular beef stew, without too much pepper and with tender, non-fatty meat. It was something that could turn a vegetarian back into an omnivore.

After that, we went to a small sushi shop a few blocks over. They said it was good ahead of time, that it was a famous restaurant. I had no idea they were serious until I tasted the first piece. It was all melt-in-your-mouth fantastic. I tried pretty much everything he had to offer. Apparently, the sushi chef is very famous. I saw a picture of him serving Hideo Nomo from a commercial shot in '93. And the prices were alarmingly expensive. For some of the sushi, it was 2500 Yen for one piece. That's about $20 US for those who don't know the exchange rate. It was honestly the best sushi I have ever eaten. We also had some soup with a big ol' shrimp in it. You can see it in the foreground of this picture of sushi lady. We also enjoyed more wine and I got to sample Japanese brandy, called shochu. It was essentially 86 proof sake, made pretty much the same way brandy is made from distilling grape wine.

After all of the good food, we stumbled back to Suzuki-san's penthouse pad where his wife was preparing tea and honeydew melon in brandy. Notice a trend for the evening regarding beverages? Well, at least the tea was non-alcoholic! I took this shot of Tsuchiura at night from his balcony. A little overexposed, but still pretty amazing.

After that, we dropped in on a bar that Dr. A apparently knows more people at. The former Ms. Ibaraki to be exact in this case. Maybe we should call her Mrs. Ibaraki now? If you don't know, Ibaraki is the prefecture that Tsukuba and Tsuchiura are in, sort of like a state, but not like a state. Ibaraki is sort of large, so I am sure the crown is quite honorable. Ol' Cookie took a picture of me and one of the servers. I still haven't been able to answer Josh's question about why Japanese people always flash the peace sign when being photographed. It is a strange phenomenon no one has been able to explain to me. I'm sticking with my original hypothesis that they never found out John Lennon is dead. Another of the servers was wearing an interesting shirt. I am curious to know if she was fully aware of the translation of the phrase featured on it. In Engrish, it pretty much said "World's Largest of... Source Natural Gas." I am assuming that it meant "World's Largest Source of Natural Gas." I tried my best to read the back of the shirt without being too obvious but I never got a good perspective. To be honest, I was afraid to be behind her for long enough to read it just in case the claim was true!